By Allen Berger Ph. D.
Letting move of resentment and forgiving ourselves for our previous wrongs are serious to restoration from alcohol and different medicines. but, Steps 8, 9, and Ten, which specialize in making amends, should be the most hard to paintings, simply because we needs to face ourselves and people who we've harm or damaged.
In 12 Hidden Rewards of constructing Amends, Allen Berger, PhD, makes use of an analogous supportive, down-to-earth variety as in his well known publication 12 silly issues That reduce to rubble Recovery. His inventive instruments and assistance may help us allow pass of anger, heal strained relationships, and make monetary and emotional restitution. via this transformative approach we can:
recuperate and continue integrity
get to the bottom of or whole unfinished business
fix belief, vanity, and self-confidence
deepen our spirituality and peace of mind
make stronger a robust dedication to recovery
By being answerable for our phrases and activities and relocating ahead with a compassionate and constructive...
Read Online or Download 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends: Finding Forgiveness and Self-Respect by Working Steps 8-10 PDF
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Additional info for 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends: Finding Forgiveness and Self-Respect by Working Steps 8-10
We try to control what we think or feel and how we behave to manipulate others into thinking we are our false-self. Power and control are the names of the games that our false-self plays. When someone or something comes along and tries to take control away from us, it feels like someone is trying to remove something we need for our survival. After working with alcoholics and observing their behavior, Tamerin and Neumann (1974) described the problem in this way: If he were less of a perfectionist, less preoccupied with the need to control himself, less concerned with the opinion of others, and more able to tolerate his limitations, accepting the fact of his alcoholism might be an easier task.
Quite the contrary. It means that they do not respond to a situation in a stereotyped or rigid manner. A healthy person is flexible and focused on the current moment. A healthy person uses their full awareness and intuition to invent how to respond appropriately to a novel situation or to satisfy their needs. A healthy person makes creative adjustments to their environment to satisfy their needs. Our true-self is response-able, which means that we are not identified with any self-configuration.
This is the opposite of the self-effacing solution. If we follow the appeal of mastery, we tend to manipulate or dominate others to make them dependent upon us. We strive for power over others, either through becoming superior or by being ruthlessly vindictive. We identify with our idealized image and become arrogant and narcissistic. Finally, if the appeal of freedom attracts us, then we will withdraw from the inner battlefield and declare ourselves uninterested. This is the attitude of resignation: we resign from the so-called rat race.
12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends: Finding Forgiveness and Self-Respect by Working Steps 8-10 by Allen Berger Ph. D.